We are Working Parents: From Family Friendly Measures… to Wanting to Unfriend Your Family?
I am no stranger to working from home. It has been part and parcel of my life ever since I re-entered the workforce after having had my two boys, Charlie and Michael now aged 10 and 9. When I first joined GO, in fact, I must confess that one of the main incentives at the time for doing so and for leaving my previous employment, were its family-friendly measures.
Even before COVID-19 hijacked our
lives, GO’s remote working options were inspiring and ahead of their time, allowing
employees the space to cultivate a work-life balance. This is an issue which so
many working parents generally struggle with.
Just hours after the first few
cases in Malta were reported, those whose tasks allowed them to, were
immediately asked and encouraged to work from home to avoid the spread. Now
that most other businesses and national institutions have had to take similar
steps, life looks very different for many of us. Working from home has taken a completely
different dimension now as rather than being a flexibility option, it has
almost been imposed on us to stay in the ‘fortresses of our homes’.
While this pandemic may itself be
taking its toll on us in ways we won’t yet be able to appreciate or understand,
those of us who are not living alone are also having to each adjust to the
close and constant proximity of our immediate family, while being physically
isolated from grandparents, dear friends, extended family, and colleagues. As for those of us who are also working
parents, this has certainly added an extra dimension to the adjustments. Like all changes, however, this too has both
its positives and its negatives.
Our dear colleague, Christine
Galea, GO’s Financial Controller and a mum of three children, had the following
to say about this new lifestyle:
“It has dawned on me that in my
lifetime as a mummy, I never had the opportunity to spend 24 hours nonstop with
all my children for more than two weeks at a stretch. Not even when my
youngest child Karl was born did we get to spend so much time together, since
Lisa my eldest had to go to school in the morning. So this nasty virus
managed to bring us all physically together for a long period of time with no
interruptions.
Speaking for myself, this surely
had some benefits also. For example, my daily
commute to and from work and the school-runs have all been cut out and I can
hear the constant sound of my children playing (or arguing or physically
fighting!!) in the background while I’m working. I always know where they are. Then I can be home preparing healthy and
varied meals for everyone rather than doling out chicken nuggets on the run, and
now we make it a point to sit at table together for most meals. It’s also easier to share the odd joke or news
snippet with my husband in daylight hours when we’re both not yet feeling drained
or, on occasion, to take a break by sitting in the garden quietly while listening
to the birds cheerfully chirping in the trees and enjoying their freedom.
But the struggle of home
schooling until now, the constant preparation of all meals, a kitchen-sink which
is continuously surrounded by dirty dishes while the dishwasher is working on
overdrive, with emails pouring in more than ever and the increased number of
calls, Teams meetings, messages streaming in on all platforms possible, while
also absorbing the gravity of the news updates, all without being able to find
some release through physically available friends, family, social coffees,
beers etc., has sometimes, admittedly, brought me to silent tears of exhaustion.
Hysteria might actually
follow. No, I lie. Hysteria did actually follow when, after we set
about washing all the floors ourselves on a Saturday morning after a long week,
the children let the dog out into the still wet garden and then they let her
back into the house after she had padded her way through all the soil leaving a
lovely trail of brown paw-prints behind her down the garden and corridor before
proceeding to jump onto the just-vacuumed, spotless sofa. Thank goodness for our sense of humour! It turned out to be a good laugh, together.
Working-from-home dad, Christian
Spiteri from the Digital Team writes: “Having a 3-year-old being home-schooled,
whilst both parents work from home, surely isn’t easy, but one simply needs to
adapt to the situation. I have always had a strong presence for my son and I’m
used to working from home, so perhaps this simplified certain aspects of
adaptation. However, considering his tender age, he still heavily depends on us
to fill up his day and I do believe that we are making the best of the
situation, by investing a lot of energy to keep him happy. In a way, we are
blessed to have the pleasure to see him learn new aspects of life, whilst
continuously providing learning through playtime. This fulfills us as parents
and keeps us working in overdrive mode when sometimes it’s required. The way I
am coping with my targets is by stretching my workday, but then investing the
saved commute time back into my son. What I recommend is to understand the
needs of your children and work around that as it helps to find a suitable
routine. Ultimately, children feel more secure when their day works against a
schedule and if they are happy then you are happy too”
Thankfully, modern technology offers
us assistance and support. Most of us parents have now been left alone to
handle our children’s care, education and daily routine together with our usual
work-load and all domestic chores. Stuck
with no one but their parents, the only schooling or exercise they get is under
our instruction or guidance. It is down
to us, to help provide some structure, excitement and variety to their days to
avoid their current life just simply merging into one big blur of screen-time and
restlessness. Imagine doing this twenty years ago when the technological
developments we are so comfortable with and comforted by were still eons away!
My always-positive and
resourceful colleague, Bernadette Abela Fiorentino, who is currently working
from home with her husband and 5-year old Giacomo, offers some very practical
and positive advice:
“We have created a schedule that
replicates a normal working day, starting off by having breakfast together, and
getting dressed as if going out. Then we plan the rest of the day according to
our work requirements, any important meetings or urgent deadlines to be met, so
that one of us keeps an eye on Giacomo at all times. We have created a safe
zone for him to play in, where all of his toys are accessible without having to
stop us whenever he wants us to get his toy truck which is too high up or carry
the ‘heavy’ box of building blocks for him. We have also put a blackboard in
the room, with a timetable for him to try and follow. I must admit that he is
spending more time watching TV and playing on his tablet unfortunately, however
we try to allocate defined slots for other activities, including crafts. He has
in fact created a ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign for us which we hang on the door of our
designated office space where we can have some undistracted quiet space when
needed. At the end of our working day, we dedicate some time for home schooling
amongst other quality time activities.”
In conclusion, whatever our
status, we are all in this together in uncharted waters. This is a war we are all fighting together,
on the same side for once, united against a common enemy which we are sure to
outwit and beat in the end. Yes, it is a
difficult time, perhaps not always helped by being in the constant proximity of
our families while missing the company of others; or by the loneliness of not
sharing your home with anyone at all. We
are, after all, social beings, used to interacting with a number of different
people on a daily basis. But we are not
alone. Not really. All thanks to the
opportunities today’s world has to offer. And it is certainly not the time to
be unfriending our families. Rather, it
is a time to be working around mending whatever bridges we can, supporting each
other (and strangers too) however we can, and embracing all novel remote ways
of appreciating and nurturing all our relationships.
#staysafe #stayconnected #proudtobeGO
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